How I Review Media

Recently, I've consumed more media than ever. Experiencing all these wildly different experiences made me realize that I had no idea how to review any of it using normal metrics.

I would watch an anime or play a game that was technically horrible, incredibly stupid, but so unironically entertaining that I loved every second of it. How do you rate that? I feel like the standard 5-star or 1-10 scales always felt so one dimensional, forcing me to lie about my actual experience.

So, I made my own framework. Instead of a boring, flat number, my reviews are now broken into four - technically five different metrics.

## Impact

It's entirely possible to have a great time watching a movie on a Friday night, only to completely forget the plot next week. On the flip side, some games or books might be a grueling, difficult experience to get through, but I find myself thinking about the themes for months afterward.

The first metric I'd like to talk about is Impact. It measures the "headspace" the media occupies after the credits roll.

• Lingering
  I only give the best of the best the title of "Lingering". To me, it means that it has fundamentally shifted my perspective or has lived in my head rent-free for weeks on end to the point that I can remember the exact emotions that I had felt when experiencing the piece of media.
• Memorable
  For a piece of media to be memorable it has to stick in my mind. By the very least I should be able to explain the 5 Ws and 1 H easily in a conversation. It doesn't have to be good, either. Impact doesn't measure quality in any shape or form.
• Fleeting
  In my opinion, this is where the vast majority of decent, everyday media lands. While I was engaged and entertained in the moment, the details start to evaporate the second the credits roll or I put the controller down. I might remember the general vibe or whether I had a good time, but if you asked me to explain the nuances of the plot or the side characters a week later, I would probably struggle. It served its purpose, so to speak.
• Forgettable
  This doesn't necessarily mean the media is instantly wiped from my brain the second it ends. Rather, it’s the kind of experience where, if someone brought it up a few months down the line and I realized I had drawn a complete blank, I wouldn't be surprised. It might have been perfectly fine in the moment, but it lacks the necessary "stickiness" or defining features to hold a permanent spot in my memory banks.

## Enjoyment

This is the most purely subjective part of the system. Sometimes I just love a piece of trash, and sometimes I just cannot stand a critically acclaimed masterpiece. This category is where I get to be totally honest about my personal experience, entirely divorced from whether the thing is actually "good" or not.

It's a straightforward, six-point scale of pure emotion:

• Loved it
• Liked it
• Mixed
• Meh
• Didn't like it
• Hated it

## Quality

This is the core of the system. In my opinion, traditional reviews fail because they smash "what a creator tried to do" together with "what they actually achieved." Basically, it's hard to separate an art from the context of its media. So, why not quantify both at once?

• Gem-Gem - Masterpiece
  I think one of the best examples of a Gem-Gem, which is also one of the best animes I've ever watched, is A Silent Voice. It's a movie that wants to tell a story about bullying in a unique way, via the POV of the culprit. In doing so, it executed its premise flawlessly, with great animation, believably amazing character dynamics, and so on and so forth. In my opinion, it's the standard for a "really good" piece of media. I would even use the word "masterpiece" to describe it, though that's my personal opinion.
• Mid-Gem - Perfect Formula
  For a piece of media to be Mid-Gem, I think it needs to have an alright concept or a tried and true formula. One of the best examples of this is Kaguya-sama: Love is War. The plot to this anime isn't that convoluted, and the premise itself is relatively basic, especially for a modern romance anime. Nevertheless, the way the passion and beauty that the showrunners showcased is amazing. Even if 80% of the show happens in the same place, somehow it feels like one of the "biggest scope" animes I've watched. That's clearly in part due to the superb writing.
• Slop-Gem - Somehow Good
  Maybe it's a hot take, but despite how unique the premise of More Than a Married Couple, but Not Lovers is, I can't help but see how incredibly cheap it is, making it a Slop-Gem anime. The fact is, to have a high school program of a "trial marriage" is not believable at all. The worst part is, show doesn't even try to justify it, so the premise just feels weird for the sake of being weird. That being said, the execution is quite nice. I really like how the premise interacts with the characters and shapes their relationships.
• Gem-Mid - Beautifully Flawed
  For this one, I'd like to mention the quintessential Gem-Mid anime, Rascal Does not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai. After watching it, only one word echoed in my mind: Ambitious. This anime has such a unique premise, so much so that it's hard to watch episode to episode, you really have to finish an arc to fully enjoy it. Nevertheless, I still find the execution to be "mid" in some parts, because the anime slightly misses the forest for the trees. For example, a lot of the concepts that are explored in the anime are relatively foreign to a layman, but the show doesn't really do a great job of thoroughly explaining them and how they tie to the story.
• Mid-Mid - The Standard
  In my opinion, Horimiya is a Mid-Mid anime. It's got the textbook mundane premise of pairing up the quiet guy with the popular girl. And then it executes said tropes safely and predictably. It's competent, but entirely unremarkable. The anime is boring, something you'd finish in a single sitting on an airplane. I will say that I like the characters themselves, but I don't find their dynamic that endearing. I think I only like this anime because I like romance animes. It's mid!
• Slop-Mid - Junk Food
  Thankfully, I haven't consumed any Slop-Mid media yet. I think it's hard in general to find a true "Slop ambition" media. In theory, it would be a low-effort cash-grab that would be competent enough to consume. I think something that would come close is VALORANT, a game I would probably never review.
• Gem-Slop - Disastrously Beautiful
  Out of the media I've reviewed, one of them stands out as a true Gem-Slop, which is Suzume. Suzume's concept of traveling around Japan to prevent disasters while following a dynamic duo of characters and meeting more along the way is superb. Only a genius could come up with that, not to mention the theme probably resonating more with Japanese audiences. Unfortunately I didn't really enjoy watching it as much. It felt rushed and depthless. Maybe it's because I'm not the target audience, I don't know. It was just a beautiful spectacle of a movie.
• Mid-Slop - The Basics
  One of the most borderline unwatchable animes I've watched is Wash It All Away. Basically, it's an anime about a cleaning lady in a remote town. Sounds mid, right? Unfortunately it didn't even get to being mid. None of the plot points interested me. One of them being the main character's backstory, which was hinted at but not explored at all. Then there was the horrible fanservice episode, which was an obvious viewgrab, wow.
• Slop-Slop - Bottom of the Barrel
  For a piece of media to be classified as Slop-Slop I actively have to hate it. Of course, Alya Sometimes Hides Her Feelings In Russian is an example of this. It's an anime with really high highs and low lows. There were so many moments where I regret watching anime in the first place. Despite that, it's an anime that deserves the 8 rating. Does it make sense? A little bit, I guess.

## Overall Rating

The overall rating is basically a compounded value from the Impact, Enjoyment, and Quality. Then, I also adjust based on gut feelings and how much I would recommend the piece of media. This is the aggregate recommendation score. It grounds all the weird, subjective feelings into a clear, actionable number. If you're looking for something to consume based on my recommendations, you should probably sort by the overall rating.

• 10 - Peak
  The absolute pinnacle. It doesn’t mean it is mathematically devoid of flaws, but the experience is so profound, groundbreaking, or perfectly executed that it sets a gold standard.
  Example: Sonny Boy
• 9 - Amazing
  Incredible top-tier media that falls just a hair short of a perfect 10. It hits almost every single mark, and any issues I have with it are almost strictly nitpicks.
  Example: Insomniacs After School
• 8 - Great
  Highly recommended. A thoroughly fantastic piece of media that I would go out of my way to tell other people to experience. The flaws exist, but they are easily overshadowed by how good the rest of it is.
  Example: Pseudo Harem
• 7 - Good
  A very solid, enjoyable time. It might play things a little too safe, or it might have some noticeable flaws, but it accomplishes exactly what it set out to do. Definitely worth your time.
  Example: Horimiya
• 6 - Decent
  Just above average. It is a completely fine experience, especially if you are already a fan of the genre or the creators. It won't blow you away, but you definitely won't regret consuming it.
• 5 - Average
  True neutral. It is aggressively middle-of-the-road. It isn't good enough to praise, but it isn't bad enough to complain about. The ultimate "it is what it is" rating.
• 4 - Subpar
  Just below average. It might have some okay ideas, but it fumbles the execution, or it is just incredibly dull. It is a disappointing experience that leaves you wishing it had been better.
• 3 - Bad
  Poorly executed, highly flawed, and generally unenjoyable. It functions as a piece of media, but just barely. I actively recommend skipping this one.
• 2 - Terrible
  Barely functional and incredibly frustrating. It might have one single saving grace—a good soundtrack or one funny joke—that keeps it from the absolute bottom, but it is still an awful experience.
• 1 - Abysmal
  The lowest of the low. No redeeming qualities whatsoever. It is a complete waste of time, totally broken, or actively offensive to the medium. I will actively warn people to stay away from this.

## The Actual Review

Clearly, the most important part of a review isn't the scale that I use to rate it, but rather what I can actually jot down into words to describe how I truly feel about said media. That's why I always start with writing the actual review first before assigning the aforementioned metrics. Most of the time, I start with the soundtrack (if the piece of media has that), since it's usually much easier to review. Then, I continue with my thoughts about everything else. The first paragraph is usually about my initial thoughts on the media, then every paragraph afterwards is about a certain aspect of the piece of media. Finally, for the final paragraph, I almost always try to structure it like how I would try to convince someone to experience the piece of media, almost like a recommendation (or the opposite of one).

Maybe there are better ways to write reviews than this, I don't know. I don't intend to use a professional structure or way of writing or whatever. It's too much of a hassle for me. To keep a long story short, I basically started reviewing because I enjoyed writing. Improving my writing is just a bonus to me. I think most experienced readers and writers can see my subpar writing has evolved to become better overall, though it's probably not as good as I think it is. Like, I still struggle to write coherent and cohesive paragraphs with a restricted scope. Maybe I'll keep getting better at writing, we'll see.

I've already talked about this in a different article, but if you'd like to start writing, then do it. Nothing's stopping you.

## Final Words From Me

At the end of the day, building this multi-tiered framework doesn't magically turn media criticism into an exact science. Even if a movie or a game manages to sweep my highest possible ratings, scoring a coveted Lingering / Loved it / Gem-Gem / 10, that doesn't mean it is an objectively flawless piece of art that every single human on Earth will enjoy.

It just means it was perfect for me.

Media is messy, emotional, and deeply personal. What resonates with my specific tastes might completely bounce off yours. The goal of this rating system isn't to declare universal, mathematical truths about what is "good" or "bad." The goal is simply to be honest. It is a tool to untangle my own complicated feelings and translate them into a format that actually makes sense.

By separating how much effort a creator put in from how much fun I had, and distinguishing a fleeting thrill from a lasting impact, I can finally stop relying on arbitrary, flat numbers. This is my system, and these are my reviews. If breaking things down this way helps you figure out whether a piece of media is worth your time. Whether it's a flawless masterpiece or a beautiful, unhinged disaster, then the system did exactly what it was supposed to do.